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06/30/05
                 
Between Sky and Earth

Time holds me between sky and earth, and I remember the patterns of my
dreams, and I draw them for my eyes.

I complete the surface of what I see, and this day unfolds more clearly for
me.

I bring the accompaniment of what I need before my thoughts, and the
layers of my hearing unfolds words that speak between sky and earth, and
bridge the surface, so I can walk between them.

My life now has a pitch that yields to color and the black gives me room.

Color flows through me like it has never before, and I hold a sunrise in my
frame.

(c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane
"Sunrise" by Clarity
06/28/05
                    
Speaking Red

Foggy morning in more ways than one. Much spinning surface under and
about me.

So much crumbling in the outer world that I feel as if I am crumbling too. I
breathe in deeply to center my core and realize I am on stable surface as
much changes.

Color has reached into all the outer world's limits. The bloom is rising up
through the stalk of life and the color is pouring out the top.

From the seed the desire moves the surface to crack the shoot to
endeavor to reach the plant, her long journey to color.

Fruition is always the result of color. Passion fills the longing and the
Garden begins to sing.

I think it is the singing I hear, not the crumbling. It is the color that is
spinning about me.

The idea of fog lifts and the clarity reaches through and clears my mind.

This is definitely a red day.

Speak Red.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Speaking Red" by Clarity
06/27/05
       
The Garden Yields to Color

The Garden yields to the season and inside the growth is a word that
repeats itself like the rain. Color.

A woman told me yesterday, "I am afraid of color." I have found that many
are, as I have become more of the colors of the garden.

I wear black most, like soil, and I live in, play in, meditate, write, paint, cook
in a world of color. I became like the soil that seeds emerge from.

Flowers emerge from my fingers, my eyes, my life, and I consume color
like food.

When did so many become afraid of color of flowers, the pulse of life?

There are so many real things one could be afraid of. When did we
become so mechanized in this world, that our original palette became what
we fear?

We have taken color and put it in little boxes of separation, and only some
go together, while others don't.

Some are too hot, too cold, too bright, too loud, too fast, too slow, too raw,
too untamed, too angry, too sad, too evil, too, too, too, much like we have
done with each other, and the people of color of this world, who remember
their original palette, pattern, and sound.

I am not afraid of color, or the source that created it.

The Garden today yields from black to brown, to green, to red, to yellow,
to blue, to orange, to purple, to all colors mixed by the devas of who
change the colors of the world.

Many people live in green and brown and never let the garden bloom in
their life, their home, their work, their play, their love, and their creativity.

Today I send them color.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Yields to Color" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
06/26/05
          
Intuitive Wisdom

Up inside the heat, but more comfortable than I would have thought.

My Life coming more forward in a way that links my body to my soul.

I become edged by the thought that I am now closer to who I am than I
have been ever before, bu the vision sometimes blurs.

In this I am speaking of who I am in the nature of why. There is a clarity in
seeking this vision, because the decisions I make are founded on it.

Living intuitively is a relationship with this nature, but so much is not laid
out ahead in knowledge but feeling.

Knowledge is what has been given the lead in this world and the feeling is
paced behind, very much like the custom of the female walking so many
paces behind the male.

So there is a pace adjustment in the intuitive life that sets the world on its
end, when the feeling is asked to step up its pace, and at times lead.

Even though the world pretends this is now okay, it is only in regimented
doses, and that later pushes the intuitive 10 paces back.

Today I want to sit into this more wisely, intuitively, and femalely.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Intuitive Wisdom" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
06/25/05
            
A New Frame

Calling the day deeply into me, I bow my frame to its absolute beauty.

Large black crows eating on the green grass in the morning sun.

Able to get to the studio three days this week. Pure joy and my frame feels
it. My nights are more filled with ease when I create, paint, and write.

Creativity is a life thread for me and I know this more each day.

I am learning to see myself and life through a different frame and this
frame is more totally embracing of all I conceive as artist, writer.

All at once I become also an observer of who I am and the bigger picture
of the path I follow, I have followed, and what I will follow.

I can't always stabilize this frame, but for brief moments I do see through it.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"A New Frame" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
06/23/05
            
One Clear Voice

One clear voice rises me 4am. This voice is so close to our window that it
penetrates through the early morning dream world.

I don't know yet what kind of bird he or she is, but it is amazing. So clear,
so present, only one note.

This voice much like first thought, clear forward, not repeating. It stands
alone and if one can hear in the dream one will be awakened and the
pulse of it will force you into clarity.

It is like our original intent, but it can fade into the layers of what living is
called and I can get  poured into other sounds and lose the memory of
that original sound that awakens me.

This day I call to myself a forgiving for not always hearing its presence and
I call my attention to its subtle force, so I can more clearly move my life
from its awareness.

I am so close I can touch it now. I call this awareness to me and my desire
to hear its first note.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"One Clear Voice" by Clarity
06/22/05
       
Edge of Confusion

Coming centered into the morning with a vigil of written language that
compasses my life in a way I can live peacefully within.

Sitting into the light morning rain, as the garden soaks in the moist nutrient.

I come to this day on the edge of confusion and I move into the words of
my soul, to find nurturence, clarity, and a feeling of center.

The day has presented itself behind many veils and the sacred has set
aside a presence, a presence that will lay before the conscious a feeling
of depth that will penetrate, till the clarity is felt through the edge of
confusion and I sit into my creativity.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Confusion" by Clarity
06/21/05
   
Solstice Full Moon

Inside the full moon till day break. Keeping a vivid dream forward, so I can
record it.

Recording dreams is like recording another life. Being a watcher, a
participant, a changer, all in one night.

Beautiful morning, gradually waking into this life I much prefer. Dream life
so much faster, so many scenarios, this life much slower, more intended,
more attention to beauty, feeling, and creativity.

Strange I am beginning to feel more awake
here, and I think this is how it
should be.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Full Moon" by Clarity
06/20/05
 
In the Teeth of Time

Sunshine pouring into the garden, like precious gold and my heart flows
with the giving of this day. A day to cherish, a day to bless, a day to
embody fully.

Time catches me between its teeth and I envision it consuming me till I
know I am not behind.

I am in time and time is in me, and I take hold of this wondrous thing as
time and fill myself with its grace.

I place myself into the center of the space inside time, and I am it. Like a
knight in my fairy tale mind, I ride on the horse of power that sits under the
saddle of time, and I experience precision.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Time" by Clarity
06/19/05
Rising the Head

Blue sky, morning light crossing over the Garden Plan. Calling the wind
into my name, I awaken the fibers of my own words, and ask them to give
me insight into the complexity of my life.

Coming forward with much meaning, the words that unravel the mystery
dig deep into my day.

I unfold my body to reach into the longed for sunlight and I wish my
feelings to have a reprieve from the rain.

The flowers begin to slowly rise to the sun after a week of bow. Like
Rapunzel, they rise their heads to the sun of relief.
Warm sun, which reaches around the waist and supports the back of each
stem.

Today I will plant and weed, bend and fold, till the Scorpio moon changes
to Sagittarius and then I will sit in the garden and talk to the trees.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Rising the Head" by Clarity
06/18/05

Seed of Green

Upright Vision, coming through the tent of our loft room. Moist morning with
an other-worldly light.

Green squash sitting upright in its earthen bed, all seems to grow. Crows
and Ravens become the personality of the sound that covers the green
that grows.

I feel the resolve that chases me and I sit in the comfort that it will catch me
in its grasp, wrestle me down and I will feel so loved I will never doubt
again what feeds me.

The music of new life fills my ears and I experience the seed of green.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Seed of Green" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
06/17/05
Rain Speaks

Rain early, flowers deeply soaking it in as each drop gives life to their
fleshy stems.

The garden reeks with damp notions and the anemone lay flat to the
ground,  in a bow to the gift of rain.

Later, when summer arrives, she will have water deep to feed her roots
that creep and clutch across the garden floor.

Weather, what do we know about weather? It currents through our minds,
our bodies, our emotions and it somehow knows how to balance our world.

Like the soul, weather speaks to us and we must hear. Hear the wind,
hear the rain, hear the rumble, hear the heat, hear the cold.

I must remember that weather knows the way home and listen to its
direction, instead of closing my ears and heart to its voice.

We came to Maine because it has weather.

Rain speaking with cool air.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Map: Longitudes & Latitudes" from our show
The Winds Knows My Name by Clarity
06/16/05
Whale Eye

The beginning slipping between my feelings and I look deeply into the
Garden Plan. I feel disrupted, like something in the night traveled through
me.

Some days I feel their turns before they before they begin, but this
morning eludes me.

I will sit here till I feel once again the thread of myself I know, and I will
weave it into the disrupted, till it is calmed into a surface I can stretch out
upon.

Feather weight is the motion and I feel my raven wings once again, and
they are the comfort of Black and the room I need to feel sides in my life.

A Garden Plan sits within these sides that are to the color of the pitch of
earth.

The devas speak to me and I pretend I understand, and in the
pre-tending, I do.

"This year the garden will run deep and root from a more perennial view.
The depth will create a passion that runs the wild nature into a full retrieval
of its heat. The heat will create a balance in the center of the eye of
mankind."
Deva of the Garden Plan...

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Whale Eye" from Boxes of Delight"
by Clarity
06/12/05
Himalayan Tea

Mist on the breath of life today. An awkward silence in the air as the world
begins to become more perennial than annual. What does this mean?

I don't know fully yet, but it is a big shift that I feel under my feet, in the air,
and inside my body.

It is good and will bring great relief from the anticipation of fall.

I look through the mist and tea arrives as Robert sits it on my desk.
Darjeeling tea from Biju and Jeannette, who have it sent from Darjeeling,
fresh from his tea shop in the Himalayas.

I think Himalayas are more what perennial is; rooted, lasting, and wise.

All the new plants are growing strong in the garden and the shift is felt
there too.

Today I'll watch the breath clear.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Himalayan" by Clarity
06/11/05
Completely in Nirvana

Space opening to the sounds of contemplation. Today being my sweet
Robert's birthday. I sit up early with him before dawn and we feel the
day's first light together.

How does one ever completely take in the gift of complete love in this
reality?

I have to move into a greater dimension to feel all that Robert & I share.
A oneness spiritually that goes beyond time, space, and reality.

It is a constant and even when we struggle is eternally lit. This is the kind
of love I knew existed and had called for it, what I never knew was how
much change in my life it would require.

This change in itself created the potential of its depth, the soil of its roots,
the passion of its clarity.

We found out we were born in the same hospital four years apart and  
both lives were in great jeopardy.

We are both strong willed individuals who have found the joy of the
collaboration of these wills in a creative union that is beyond all we could
have dreamed.

To be open to another completely is Nirvana.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Nirvana" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
06/10/05
Perennials

Inside the touch of life I feel the press of what awakens within the growing.

The day is opening to a new rhythm and the potential it carries is
perennial in behavior.

Life unfolds between the pages of our feelings and the need for a more
permanent weave is growing within the Garden plan.

A rhythm that roots us deeply into our original pattern that quietly guides
us to a place that allows us to be perennial, and part of the Garden plan in
a way that we can expand,spread our roots, take up space,stay long
enough to be part of the picture we create, become an installation, a
home, a family.

Over the acres of flowers we are there are those who stay and those who
leave. I want to stay and even in this I don't quite know why, but deeply,
souly true.

I know what it is to finally be eccentric and these stray parts are no longer
clipped.

I am planted at the tail end of a Cancer moon and a Gemini sun, where the
fairies are.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Perennial" by Clarity
06/9/05
Fibers of Listening

A day gives and it gives, and we are part of what it gives.

We are laid within the weave of its intention and the weft of its weave is as
tight as it needs to be true cloth.

We are the thread, we are the bead that creates the outer reaches of the
fabric of reality. We come into the fibers of what we hear with a perception
of our own need.

The needs gather about us and we sort through the colors, to find the one
that gives to the cloth of persona we are.

I sit this morning with this cloth in my hand and I study the intricate design
of my own making. The dreamer that dreamed of me dreaming gave me
the life needed to create the fabric, but it is I who have woven the cloth.

To live is only the thread, a life is the loom, to know one is alive is the
weaver, to create within a life is the tapestry.

To be a bead upon the weave is to begin to see the diminsionality of what
one holds in one's hand.

To thread, to spin, to weave, to be the fiber in one's own hand--- a power
beyond limitation.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Fiber & Beads" from Birds, Feathers, & Nests Calendar
by Clarity
06/8/05
Placed is the Foot

Placed, the feeling of alignment flows through this day. I open to its upheld
motion.

Between the walls of past and present is a vine that climbs from the
potential that has been saved from the between.

This vine is placed and it climbs the trellis of the future. I begin to put my
foot upon this vine and wrap my arms and hands around its thick strong
branches.

I climb, like Jack,  but I know there is no Ogre in the land above. There is
hope, transcendence, and transformation.

I have climbed this vine before and it has never failed to support me. The
highest potential is its strength.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Vine of Potential" by Clarity
06/7/05
Sweet Self

Up before I know it. Knee deep in obligation, unchecked responsibility,
and then I remembered what it is to be truly alive.

I peel myself off the walls of duty, I re-shake my hair, fluff up my aura,
wipe free my name, and once again embody who I am.

This day will have to start again in the right mind. I pick up my true self,
hug her sweet visions and allow her to lead me through this day.

I have been addled by time, space, and need, and they get nowhere
without her hand in mine.

(c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane
"Sweet Self" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
6/06/05
Planted

Coming through the sacred of life, the expected becomes unexpected.
The always growing volume within my life advances forward and my
untrained eye realizes its own maturity.

I open my mind to the vast nature of all that is and I wait no longer for
the vision, because it is all about me.

I become enamoured with the called of all I have given and received
in my life, and it awakens in me a strength of will that I can secure my
feet deeply into.

I purpose this will with the intuitive language I collaborate my Soul into.
Each thread of this collaboration, becoming a fine tooth comb of my
own self reliance.

The truth embodies me and I hold dear the soil of my integrity. To plant
a seed within this soil is to be complete in essence. -- Planted.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Planted" by Clarity
6/04/05
A New Nickel

Folding the messages that dreamtime gives, I take into my feelings
a shift in how I relate my life to all that spins around it.

I fill my timing with a new nickel of awareness and the value of coin
increases beyond 5.

I change my response to response and I open my caring to a new
character. "So that is how they think, not who I am." An angle I have
never viewed from.

I have always sat into people's response as if it was my own to own.
I try to nest in it and find many uncomfortable sticks and rough thread.

My own nest is much more comfortable for me, because I can make
much from small and it does not scare me like it does so many.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Small" from Boxes of Delight by Clarity
6/3/05
Timing of Awareness

Shuffled awareness sits in the beginnings of this day.

Speech becoming a language of writing, I provoke no position that
will not support my voice.

Common time becomes a stillness that gives way to an internal
reaching.  To mark my day with a timing that allows the shuffle
to settle into a rhythm is what I need.

Too many figures of passing visions that cannot fully attain a
completion.

I begin to realize that inside the rhythm of each intuitive feeling,
is the strength of a completed vision, and I begin once again
to listen closer to the feeling.

I realize I need to carry the feeling closer to my breath, so I will
know its fullness sooner.

Timing of awareness is the key.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Passing Visions" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
6/2/05
Listen for Courage

Up within the covers at 5am, new light pouring in loft window and
through our tent. My body ready early and rested.

The garden begins to grow within me too, reaching up through my
mind and perching upon my thoughts, like a new spring bird. I think
of flying and I settle into my nest to write.

Hildegard of Bingen plays in my ears and takes my feelings into her
time. The depth of her music pours through me and I contemplate on
what I dream again.

To have a dream is a treasure, to be a dream is an invokement, to
live within a dream is a deep journey, to dream again is an awakening.

I listen for courage.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Listen for Courage" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
6/1/05



Dream Again

Talking inside the space that gives me room, I ask many questions.

The answer comes to all of them and it is simple. Dream again.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Dream Again" from Boxes of Delight
by Clarity
05/30/05
Bending

Nasturtiums, I planted all afternoon and all through the night in my
dreams. Sweet yellow, orange, and red, all rowed in the pleasure
of beauty.

Nasturtium helps us assimilate our food, our life, our emotions. Sweet
wonder that she is.

Then dreamt I collected marbles in a jar for Booker T. Washington,
after watching the life of my mentor, George Washington Carver, who
talked to flowers daily. Booker T. Washington was a friend and believed
in his work.

Talking to flowers has become a daily part of my life and the Garden
plan, a big picture of what I seek.

Rich soil was my companion yesterday, and my muscles today know
she had visited me in every bend.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Nasturtiums" by Clarity
05/29/05
Cozy

Sunshine, blue skies, yellow and blue, one of my favorite combinations.

Up early with the new light. Birds, breath, air, sweet sounds.

Loft room cozy, bright with color. Our tent cozy and comfortable.

Cozy is a word that endears my life and gives me a nest of feelings.
If I am cozy I am happy. If I lose my cozy I am unnested and I can't
easily settle into myself.

I have spent much of my life crating cozy where I go. In our home,
at my desk, in our studio, in our car, on a trip, in the garden.

I photograph close-up to find the coziness within the frame. I look
deep into myself and the people I love to thread cozy into my
connections.

I write from the pulse of my heart and the rhythm of the sea, to bring
cozy into the tapestry of my life.

Cozy, a word, a place, a feeling, a way of living.

I think I should do a cozy web page.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
05/27/05
3 Omnidirectional

Sitting inside the many layers of living a life, I realize that living is
an underground thing.

It is what erupts into the above world to occupy our minds. It is
what realizes a sense of place and begins to move into the sense
of it.

What becomes the center is from many years of accumulating the
strength to be whole in a way of feeling.

To feel my life in a whole way I must begin with the rumble under
my feet.

I must lay open my longings because they wind into my toes and
climb up my legs.

What is the longing for? To be in touch with the sacred thread of
why I live.

The curve of reach embodies this longing into the desire for pattern,
connection, and purpose. Purpose being the sacred thread.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
05/26/05
It Pours

The center of the Garden plan emerges and the language of the
green begins.

All grows within their green and the rain pours. It pours into the
green of new growth, the seeds of our own dreaming.

It pours into the deep earth of our history, and the topsoil of our
present.

It pours into the hidden, yet not emerged, and feeds the green that
reaches for the light.

It pours into our souls and washes away our obstacles, and feeds
the child within.

It pours into the puddles, the streams, the ocean, and the chalice
wells of our memory.

We lift up its poured chalice and begin to
drink from the singular time it pours into our space.

The arc of my life floats on this time and it rocks back and forth
with the rhythm of its Intention.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Chalice" by Clarity
05/20/05
Acres of Flowers

Sunshine, clear skies, what a surprise. Inside the clear presence
of spring are the acres of flowers that I used to raise.

They stay with me in their numbers and I count the many days I
walked among them.

It is hard to gather a bouquet of the full presence of one's life. Even
with the many years between that acreage and the garden I now
have.

It is a mystery why I had to have so many in my life. I know all the
practical reasons, but the mystical reason has not quite settled in
yet.

I ask to know a bigger picture of that time of my life and how it
connects and supports this present time.

Weaving threads, clipping ends, connecting threads-- a passion
for color.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Acres of Flowers" by Clarity
05/19/05
I Fall Into

Up early with the rise of light. Very forward with this day.

Beginning to make peace with this new rhythm, allowing it
its quick pace with less stress.

Falling more into the beat rather than trying to make it.

The richness surrounds me because of this falling into.

I listen, I hear, I fall into the beat of my creativity, and it allows
me to feel the clarity of this timing.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Fall Into" from Boxes of Delight by Clarity
05/17/05
In the Middle

Singularly putting forward the meaning of timing, I awaken in the
middle and wonder why the opening requires so much in the
middle.

The middle is what I try to rush through to get to the end, but
the middle is now what I must sit with.

The middle is the rich flavor of all that has begun, and knows
it is there.

Were did I decide to be so impatient with the middle of things?
When did my life begin to push to the end?

The tapping foot inside the beat of push has just become too
much not like who I truly am.

Writing
Window of One's Own is about the middle and it is
necessary in order to be inside the middle in order not to rush
to the end.

I cannot consume the end before I have digested the middle,
and if I try, I will awaken in the night to finish the task of being
present to the detail of what lies unthreaded from the rush.

I ask for the middle to consume me, so I can find the purpose
of what I rush to the end for.

I implore the closest of time to embrace me and give me the
sight of seeds, so I may grow day to day with the season.

The seedlings are only 2 leaves, and some are still only  
pushing up above ground.

I will stay with this, instead of trying to see them in full bloom.

So now I sit in the dark and look into the black for more room.

(c)
Raven Su.Sane
"Middle" from Boxes of Delight by Clarity
05/16/05
The Leaving of Apple Mint

Lifting space through me, I accumulate the night and I hold my
feelings in my hands.

I open to the nature of what is held, a deep healing force brought
up from the garden that gives strength to my whole body, mind,
and spirit.

Mint dug deeply into the hidden roots as the fragrance filled my
nose and senses.

Rich black loamy dirt releases the roots and my hands hold the
trowel, the earth, and my frame, as I rock back and forth on my
knees to the rhythm of digging.

A day in the mist fills me and my night releases the dreaming of
what was dug.

I sift through the dirt for the roots, so the bed keeps her topsoil
for new flowers later to be planted.

New memories, as the painful old fade, and the new is much more
than the old that intruded. Courage.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Nutcracker Door" by Clarity
05/14/05
Cray Pas    

Coming through the sifted position that life often is, I repair my
inner triangle of body, mind, and spirit.

I feel the shift that is needed and I step into a larger picture.

I gather around me the potential I seek and erase what has been
uncompassionate to the tender life of my soul, and the exquisite
color of intuition oozes into the present moment.

Once I connect with the intention of my life; a day, a moment, a
piece of creative work, I find the peace of what the intentional
from within gives.

There is a clarity in this and I can build a support of my own will
from it.

This gives me room to play.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Birds, Dragons, and Whales"  by Clarity
from our current show
The Wind Knows My Name.
05/13/05
The Sea Calls

Opening my heart to the sun that lies on the green, I emerge
from a night of visionary messages.

The created in my life speaks to me and I begin to travel north
with the wind.

I lay within the layers of passion and I allow the feminine mystique
to flow through me.

I take into this day the layers of silk that pulse through my mind.

The sea calls and I open to the rhythm of water and imprint myself
with the colors of my own work.

Pattern upon pattern, translucent to the other, and the timing is
rhythmed with the sea, as each pattern marks my consciousness
with an opening.

Life becomes more reasoned than reason and I begin to feel the
power of a whole memory.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
by Clarity
"Wings" by Clarity
05/12/05
Emergence of Joy

Mist covers our world and the magic seeps into our process.

The garden turns over, and many seedlings emerge with the new
found warmth. The Greenhouse catches all the light and seedlings
carefully planted push up through the soil.

I feel the emergence of joy in my veins and I have wondered all
winter where it went.

This day feels to just peep around the corner at me. It does not
thrust itself into my face and I move about with an intuitive curiosity.

I have come to belong to a careful listening, even when all the lists
of lists push at me. I re-sit myself and look more than once into the
window that speaks in layers, and waves of the flow.

I have come too far into this passage called life not to flow. The
wisdom is in the second sitting and the first thought.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Emergence of Joy" from Boxes of Delight by Clarity
05/08/05
Mother's Day

High winds yesterday, woke up to silence, but from loft window could
see that the gale had taken down part of the doors that created the
Garden entrance.

Red ladder on her side, blue window facing down. Roar still in the
trees.

Two key doors came apart this year and we had not had a chance to
replace them, so the entrance was vulnerable to the wind. Robert
hugs me and says he will put all upright today.

The two replacement doors are two of the mystical women doors. One
is a pattern of Isadora Duncan, and the other Hildegard of Bingen.

Two very strong women who sought the deep mystery by helping
women find their independent soaring nature.

So the garden plan changes this year & the wind knows our name.
Both women worked with the movement of breath and the diaphragm.

What I have had to work the hardest to reclaim is the strength of my
diaphragm after the birth of five children.

In order to manage the creative fire held within our work I have had
to make sure I walk and practice yoga daily, to ground my breath
and channel the gale winds that rein in an intuitive voice.

Change happens in the garden plan and so too it happens in me.

A small bouquet of wild strawberries, hyacinth and forsythia from
Robert, and a cup of tea.

Mother's Day and new guardians for the Garden door.
Magic Happens.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"The Garden Wall" by Clarity
05/06/05

Keep To Small

Up early, awakened by an unusual bird call.

More to do in the garden today; red fences to paint and magical
places to spin.

Fern fronds up all over the back of the garden plan; lung wort
blue blooming, bloodroot at the peak of her bloom, pink lily of the
valley peeking up through the leaves.

I feel as if the garden is rising up through me and the joy of her
life fills me.

Herbal balm to all my muscles as I prepare to squat again today,
as I move from plant to rake, to painting, to digging.

I feel like Augra in
Dark Crystal moving about. Today I fold around
the idea of keeping to small, as I work deeply in the Garden Plan.

Each small thing becoming my focus, as if it were large. In this I'll
keep my focus and not be overwhelmed by the many layers of a
day.

(c) 2005
Raven Su.Sane
"Keep To Small" from Boxes of Delight by Clarity
05/05/05
Right Side Up

The day involves me even in my resistance. Too cold in loft, wake up
feeling achy, cold, and out of sorts.

Feel lost in the illusional life, but I know I am burrowing my way out.

I feel the brightness on the edge of my feelings. I will move into the
garden to put her right side up and maybe in the process I will become
also right side up.

I need her dirt, her groundedness and the joy that moves through her
greening, as she yearns for light and burrows up into the open view.

I feel like an old perennial that has expanded and is trying to move all
her new shoots into the light.

I grunt and groan, but what an abundant beauty I will be as soon as I
realize that the lightness will soon come, as I get my foliage above
ground.

(c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane
"Right Side Up from Boxes of Delight by Clarity