| 7/17/05 Keep to Small Inside the frustration of stiffness I awaken and begin to step out of the picture of large in the small. I remember small eye, not large, small vision, not large, small day, not large, small needs, not large, small feelings, not large, small thoughts, not large. The frustration leaves and I begin a small day, not large. One small heat pack relieves my shoulder and neck and I write a small page. I am a small person, not large, and I remember that when one keeps to small one can do immense things. The large stands on the small, which few know, except those at the foot of large. I begin at my feet and thank the small that holds me up. Small words making immense differences. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/16/05 One Day in Maine Yellow squash blooms-- such sweet sunshine held within them. The Garden awakens me this morning. Many voices to the garden, many blooms, many hearts, all reveling in the life. Dinner at the harbor still lingers in my mind, light on the water touching each boat with a blessing. Summer evenings calling all hearts to unfold their magic. Morning rises inside of me and I feel sometimes I don't even have room for a whole day. There is so much potential in one summer's day in Maine, that one could fill up just thinking of it. Every day has its own purpose and its time. I am learning to let each day become fully who it is and my mind is given to. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/14/05 Katherine Squash begins to bloom, and I remember that the Garden plan seems to change each year. Nice cool morning. I sit and remember a dear friend who died on Tuesday and feel her about in the garden. She always loved the garden and now she is here in a new way. Her wit, vitality, compassion, and voice is so much missed, but little bits of her are woven all through the Clarity House. Her aunt's teapot sits on the shelf, her childhood bowls are in the Dream House, her Tree of Life is in the Sanga Room. For two years she has been bringing treasures to us for keeping. Now they all sit among the dolls, books, and sacred things. As a woman, healer, and acupuncturist she helped me dig deeply into the pain of the separation of my daughter and I when she was young. She moved with love and compassion and released the voice of my soul, so I could feel safe in this world again. In the summer of last year, under a full moon, for her birthday she and David, her spouse, and Robert & I went for a moonlight paddle and picnic on M. River, and I do believe we stepped together into another world. So I know where to find her when I don't see her here in this world anymore. Much love Katherine. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/13/05 Different Where am I in the alchemical process of transformation? That is each day's beginning, middle, and ending. I am a Raven and Raven's are about transformation. Life is about transformation. When I feel lost it is because I do not know where I am in the alchemical process. What feels lost is only transforming. When I ask where I am the process moves faster, because I let go and move to the next part. I was up in the night and remembered to ask, and went back to sleep. I feel more found this morning, more forward, more grounded in purpose, and I don't even really know anything different, but my whole body feels it, because I asked. In my sleep I moved on. Today I am different. I feel more located, more a resident of where I am, more resonant of why. The feeling is what makes whole all the things I know. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/12/05 It Has Begun Space becoming rich in mystery, I sit in the stillness of morning and watch the unknown unfold before me. All is moving in this stillness and the motion quiets my mind. I cannot in any way imagine how the magic of this summer will unfold, and the potential of that amazes me. It has begun without my mind. It has begun with my trusting heart. That heart that is full of love, passion, grief, anger, and compassion. That heart that believes in light, even in the darkest of times. That heart that trusts in the deepest of things. That open, vulnerable, gracious heart. I love it so. I dip my heart into the ink of this day. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/11/05 The Garden Speaks Up within the pages of my dreams, I uncover the day and allow myself some room. The wildness of the Garden seeping into all the corners of our loft room. Rest becomes me and I take the slow into my pace and allow the ease of tea, music, and introspection. I listen to all the answers I gathered and eliminate the assumptions. I am renewed by the giving of time early in my day. Hummingbird early to the Garden and the delphiniums welcome him in. 50 people wander through her paths and their play still lingers through her blooms and leaves. The fay world moves through her space and the Garden is renewed each day. Angelica, the Guardian, stands so tall and lush, she creates almost her own woods. The feeling of presence fills the Garden and I become open to the perfection of the will of creation. The Garden speaks and I listen with new ears. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/10/05 Silence Silence folds around me, the Gloriosa Daisy begins to grasp the meaning of the garden plan. I awaken to many patterns of change and I steady my focus into one pattern and breathe in Clarity. So many impressions for the mind to grasp. I look through the window of this day and I invoke wisdom, a lasting wisdom that carries me into the full potential of what our work means. Pattern Imprintation, what does that really mean? Is it a reality that the body, mind, and spirit can really change from pattern imprintation? Can one really look into a pattern of clarity and respond? I have worked 20 years believing this to be true, but today I ask why I cannot feel or see it. Today I cannot feel the memory of why I have believed in this so. Today I feel our work and its effect is as invisible as the world of fay. Today I feel as if I am only the question. Today I invoke the answer to flesh into me, awaken me, correspond with me, and silence the critical world. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/9/05 Connect the Dots Rain, I'll mulch and weed the garden today between the drops. Sweet nurturence to the earth, and the Garden plan spreads open to all the bloom. Between yes and no I enter this day slowly, I move passages into doorways I begin to step through. I pilot my own way and allow the answers to many questions to fill me. Yes I hear, no I do not see the opening quite yet, yes I can listen, no I will not hurry, yes I can now see. Patience is this time, hurry is the contraction. I breathe in my words and I give myself time in even the beginning of this day. Time allows me to gather up my intention and once again connect the dots of my life. I connect the deep I love with the time I need now to see what is ahead and this time gives me the now that creates my future that I already know. To feel the rain today is to connect the dots of water that gives me time. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/8/05 Why Up with the squash, up with the movement of light, up with the silent waiting. I don't know yet what waits, but it stirs from under the ground, like creation. First the silence marks the place and then the underworld begins to move forward, upward, outward. The steps unfold and I begin to climb into the light of this day, with what I had sought, in my dreams, in my hand. A hand that holds my life in a resolved pose, a wish fulfilled view, and the eye in the center of my hand breathes in light, like it is my whole body. The wish fulfilled speaks and I listen in silence, till the wait leaves and my position and I realize I have come home to why I consume the why, and I begin to believe in myself once again. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/7/05 50 Piece Puzzle In the unexpected of each day is the child, and within each child is the ease for me. This day feels rather sober to me in its early nuances, so I will slip into the child to find ease. I'll slip into more color than less, I'll crawl around myself like a baby and find the lay of the land. I'll play in a magical way to find the mystery within the sober. I'll pull out a 50 piece puzzle and fall into its pieces. I'll let the shapes fit into each other, till I find an easy picture to this morning's sobriety. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/6/05 Mist The day covers itself with an early morning mist and the Green reaches for more nourishment. I reach into this Green for more grounding. I begin with sitting, then writing, then walking, and I take in the magic of this time, as I have for eons. The mist has been moved by many, but few feel what happens within its alchemy, and the sound it holds between the particles of water it forms into submission. The magic is in the giving of time to the patterns the mist holds, and the awakening it calls into its vision. I turn into this day from over my shoulder and trust the twist of the spine. I look forward and backward in unison. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/5/05 Up For Air Coming through water in a dream of glass, I move through the edge of window like it was open. Early morning feelings of unknown, like from another world, and the complete circumference given space to come back with me. This day opens and I fell the potential of blue. It follows me like the sea and I come up for air. We are the whales that travel deep below the surface and know the floor of the deepest waters. We know the language of our beginnings and we sing the notes of our longings, in the life we live. I rise from my bed into the air of life like a breeching whale from a deep dive. I become the language I bring back with me. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/3/05 The Pea Up from the depths of vision. Layers upon layers unpeel and I feel between empty and full. I rock back and forth between the two, and I hold myself quiet to the sounds of judgement. My silence wears them out and they leave. The sun crosses over the darkness and I begin to move about within the garden, somewhere between yellow and orange. Blue comes through me and I am relieved of the omission of words. I begin once again to reduce the large into the small. The small becomes large and then reduces to the small, and the irritant is found dissolved, and the power is in finding the pea, so the harmony can once return. Like the princess, I am bruised black and blue from a night of small felt large, but there is no doubt who I am. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/2/05 Blue Center Power consumes the circle within and the nature of hope emerges and comes through the forming of this day. Delphiniums begin to bloom and the tall center they form in the Garden speaks of whales, dolphins, that float through its patterns. The earth and sea merge in the garden center and the Devas begin to write on the garden walls in many colors. The patterns for the year begin to emerge and I read them into the Garden Plan. The deep mystery rises through the soil, like the many horses throwing dirt from the shoulders in my dreams. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 7/1/05 Rare Gift Coming close to the weave of my memory, I fold my body around a thread and I compose a day. I become relished in the feeling of place. Place in a day in time is a circumferic view of what a day holds. I take my time into its multiplicity and become aware of the simplest of things. Beauty of the green squash plants on black dirt. The grey pickets that rise into the window. Robert sets tea from Darjeeling before me, and the morning begins in a threaded way. Fog rolls in from the sea, a constant reminder of that I am finally in a place I have wanted to be. Time and place congeal to move my day into a rare gift I feel, but do not quite yet see. The bliss unveils me. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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