| 10/31/05 Halloween More restless last night, not as comfortable in my skin, taking Phosphorus 30C for irritated throat and cough. Once again I return from dreams a little more cautious. Halloween approaches with a stir of the cauldron and I feel restless with memory of eons past. I begin to remember the burning and my throat feels the singe of heat. I allow the memory to release and flow through me as I move into my morning yoga. The drama of life unfolds many emotions and I rotate into a clear space. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/30/05 Silence Surrounds Me Silence surrounds me and I open my eyes to the curve of the day as it begins. I open to the curve and try to bend into the flow of it. I open beyond what presses to close and I flow through the pores of light that filter in through the thin nature of our tented life. A tented life is one that curves into itself and still is part of the square ratio of our room. We are a triangle inside a square. We are aware of the alchemy of our life and the tent within the room is earth seed of fire.-- POTENTIAL. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/29/05 Up Within the Folds Up within the folds of my sleep. Morning coming into my dreams, as I awaken to the warmth of my own body under the covers. Robert & I both awaken together and we speak of our dreams and the center of the day we begin to enter. Keeping myself close to my own feelings, I sip coffee and warm my heart with the feeling of words, as they reach into my mind. My mind cannot find these words, only my allowing can find them. These words do not come from what I have yet experienced, but what I yet do not know. Life unfolds from the unknown when we don't insist it unfolds from the past. Light, shade, calm, raised foot upon the path. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/26/05 Stepping Through the Wardrobe Completely showering my life with movement has been the rewards of two 16 month-old boys. Their nature, to notice every small thing, has kept my senses on alert for days, and I slept like a baby last night, till 5:30 in our loft cereal box tent. We were snug, even as the gale storm raged on. Lilly, our 9 year old Pomeranian slept under our space blanket with us, and we were a funny looking trio in our tent, that is in a loft room full of artwork and toys. The walls of the loft room are doors we have covered with fiber and clothes, that make 3-D sculptures like our nighttime guardians. I have chosen to stay in the world of color, art, and toys, even after my children have grown, and I think it is because I found it to be a very mystical, expanding, and creative world to step through the wardrobe into. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/25/05 Morning Awakens Me The morning awakens me with the movement of wind and rain on the barn roof. Robert & I sleep with our faces under a space blanket and are warm and cozy, although it does sound like we are in a cereal box. Silver consumes the color of our sleep and we both move out on a silver cord of sound. This day involves me with the feel of cozy, protection, wings, and the call within. I take into myself a soft voice, a gentle quest and a warm nest. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/24/05 The Day Fills Me The day fills me as the morning begins. I begin to collect all the sounds and feelings I need to create. I space the part in my solar plexus and ready my mind to dive deep into the meaning of this time I understand little of. I fold my posture into the bending I will need to climb under and through the obstacles that try to be formed in my mind. I awaken the acceptance of space that gives to the unknown, and I file into place all the colors, that fill in the questions and fiber the answers into a texture I can put in my hands. Faith and circumference follow me and we become companions in the language I reach for. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/21/05 Accepting Space as a Vision Accepting space as a vision, I enfold more clearly the details of what is now in position. I open to potential and accept the deep black of room. I feel the intense desire of depth and the deep is not in measurement. The deep is in willingness to be connected in every moment to clarity. My daughter travels today with her husband and two 16 month old sons. She and I have journeyed the course of the deep together and I long to hold her and share with her life. They arrive here late tonight, none of will ever be the same, because we all will look into the wealth of each other and be changed. She is now holding secure within her the life of another son, and he will bring her home to Maine for support, nurturence, beauty, and deep longing. I am amazed how the thread of connection weaves. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/18/05 The Dream Feeling the safety of life enfolding within my dreaming, I wake up wrapped in a blanket of visions. I come through the focus of this time stronger than I realize. I cross over the bridge of what changes for me, in a gait that gives me power. I touch base with a foundation of fire and I mold the character of my work in a rhythm that awakens my recognition of what I hold in time. One dream meets another and the magic of the weaving is like spider woman and she speaks to me of the tightening of warp for durability. I dream of fish, whales, old couches, sharks, moths and young boys who are trying to live in the worlds of all of these. Moths who have eaten the old white couch, sharks who have 7 diamond head babies, a tower of fish, whales and mammals, all abundant in the joy of their world. An old grandmother, whose head screws off her body and I'm taking care and talking to her head, which is like a small diamond shaped box with white hair that comes off. I realize she is between the worlds, but her mind still exists and she is the grandmother of time. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/15/05 Saturday Morning, Room Space becoming where I sleep, I wake up inside the feeling of room. Rain on the roof of the loft and the gentleness of patience comes with each drop. Patience for the time it takes for rain to fill the ponds, water the plants, quench the earth, impart the sea. Rain the giving source of what rests below our feet. Today we'll stay cozy as a family and turn on lights, bake, clean, play, sip hot cocoa, create, and watch movies. Each one of us becoming nurtured by a weekend of time inside. We are an extended family of 6 and each one of us plays a role in enriching our lives, loving our home, providing caring for the feelings of each other. We have done this for 18 years and the depth of friendship, commitment, and integrity has given us the foundation we all need to be fulfilled in all we do. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/14/05 Unfolding More Room Morning rises the effort of this day and I come into it with many changes in the way life accompanies me. Creativity, my companion, becomes more powerful in the way it approaches the movement in the daily of my life. I unfold more room and the creativity gives me pleasure in the space it fills. Each day we live a window opens and we have a vision of who we are being. If we look we can see what approaches and what leaves. We can see the full integrity of our own world and what holds up the corners of the frame. Robert & I call them the corner fairies and have come to find them powerful allies in navigating the force of a day. We often send them to friends for support in doubtful times. The corners of our lives need attention and the power of each corner is the power of direction. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/10/05 New Cycle The morning begins with clarity. This was not how I went to bed, but through the night I asked for acceptance, realization, and awareness. I was up many times, and each time I became more aware, and the realization of what now becomes became more clear. We now enter our 7th year in Maine and I realize I am now entering a new 7 year cycle. A cycle more deeply dug, more permanently founded, and with less refuse. I will now plant my walls, lay my floors, articulate my ceiling. I will clear away the refuse and renegotiate what remains. I have drawn my face into this day and seen when I am in the shifting motion of the alchemy of my life. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/7/05 Deer Accepted is the beginning of this day and the appeal of space becomes an ever increasing feeling. I open to the unique flavor of this day and the morning pitch before dawn widens. I create a pull that becomes what opens the window's view I need, to express fully what I see. I dream a journey and I begin a day that feels this journey, even in the earliest markings. Portals appear and they are open to me, I walk through and the intensity of dreaming becomes the floor of my feeling. Space gives way to a narrow path and I walk intently in its direction. The sides of the path comfort me with the protection of deer antlers bent to provide a gentle view. Each deer alive and touching the antler of the deer on the other side, so a tunnel of antlers protect my way with the vision of Kuan Yin at the end. All this held within the Tibetan turquoise necklace I wear for the memory of awakening the elements of stone. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/4/05 Focus Fog early, spider webs in the garden glisten with morning dew. I take in wholly what this time needs. Focus. I focus my mind, I focus my heart, I focus my feelings and all begins to move. The many faces of power we fear are after the very face we need. I become this face that focuses thought, feeling, and heart, so I can move what has not as of yet moved. I weave and connect each part, like spider, till I have a whole new web of support for my creativity. Many things call, but I commit myself to my creative companion and we hold each other's hand till we feel it solid. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/3/05 Quite Magical Up with the first light. Time gives way to space and I begin to occupy the day. 50 people at Salon last night. We give a salon once a month. People come, eat and share dreams. Robert & I always read a small piece of work. He read his wonderful poems and I read a body of work, " Inside the Darkness", I wrote in 2000 that just now holds my hand. It is quite magical how it all happens. Once, 5 years ago 20 people felt like a lot and people felt crowded, now 35 to 40 feels good, and 50 feels a little crowded. It is true, many Mainers are shy and do not like crowds. Many who come are contemplatives and live alone. How this all happens and everyone is fully engaged in being here is where the magic is. How do 20 people become comfortable with 50. Colors are like that, and in our art and work we stretch that, so the world can become more accustomed to the vast amount of color that it is, and everything does not blend, but it does sing. The power of each individual voice in its own integrity of difference. Life is magical when we let it be and I am amazed at its mythic domain. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/2/05 The Time I Feel Morning embraces my thoughts and I open to the nature of what holds my hand. Creativity is my companion and I have learned patience in a way I never thought possible. A patience of eons and a presence of acceptance that allows understanding. I write what I have written eons ago and I wait the understanding, as I have in another time. The new has become old and the old has become new. That is the magic of waiting and the gift creativity gives. The timing engulfs the speed and all is measured in the ability to be silent. Silent to the wind, silent to the hurricane, silent to the gale. What evokes the patience also gives the understanding. You stand under the foot of knowledge and it crowns your head with peace. This is the time I feel today in the morning silence. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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| 10/1/05 Listening to Each Voice Winter moves around the corners of things now. In the corner of our thoughts we begin to plan how to be warm and cozy and survive the long darker hours. We start to think of hot cocoa, little fires, warm socks, candles, hot soup, snow shoes and long walks in the woods. Fall is beginning to fill the space that winter cannot as of yet. I get up early, Robert & I sleep in our sangha room instead of our tent in the loft, because the night is colder. Our sangha room is such a sweet presence and we both slept well. Many shifts happening in our home, as each living thing moves and makes room for another. It becomes a dance of allowance and the nature of all that lives in our life has a presence we treasure. When you see all things as living and allowing, the shifting becomes easier, all has a place and purpose. Today we will fall clean and all will shift and we will listen to each voice as it knows its place in this world. (c) 2005 Raven Su.Sane |
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